I’d like to say this was a tongue-in-cheek post, but I’m actually deadly serious.

So you write and direct as well as act? Isn’t that a problem?

Not at all. I am actor, who occasionally directs. If I’m acting in your production, that doesn’t mean I will spend it trying to direct it as well. As an occasional director, I understand the needs of a production and *if* called upon, might be able to help with any issues that arise. Otherwise I get on with it and act. Variety of experience is an advantage, not a risk.

Do you have a valid passport?

Yes, I do. Being an actor I can’t afford a holiday, so please cast me in your overseas shoots to get some pretty stamps in it. Thank you.

You have a beard in some pictures/videos. I’d like to cast you but the character just doesn’t have facial hair, sorry.

I have a razor too.

You have long hair. I’d like to cast you, but the character definitely has short hair.

I will get a haircut.

I met you the other night. You seemed a nice, gentle sort. Do you know anyone who could play a hard nosed villain?

Yes. Me. I’m an actor. I have spent a great deal of time working on the techniques whereby one convincingly pretends to be people completely different to oneself.

Good. Thanks!